74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
Hey dacha, this thread was around a long tilapia ago, but was locked because of methul bokses. So behave, be your avatar, and HAVE FUN! or I kill you!
75727
Post by: sing your life
Tyranids.. Tyranids,, Tyranids in Platforms...
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
Surprise * eats sing your life's alarm clock.*
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
A revival of this thread? Yay! *Jumps up and down with cat-walrus hapiness and breaks a small crater into the floor*
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
A cat lost in the Arctic...must have some serious survival skills. *put the cat in his warm backpack* Now cat...where's the enemy?
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
You look unusual... Human.
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
YOU look shiny.
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDS!!! *Charges the Tyranid while dragging Guardsman Bob with him*
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
Ahhhh!!
wait,
*burrows into the ground and out of sight.
75727
Post by: sing your life
Should I tell you that alarm clock was actually a melta bomb?
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
*KABOOM*
* mushroom cloud*
* claws way out of hole in the ground and collapses*
ow.
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
INCOMI- *lands on shrouded lord*
Ow.
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
It's so cute...
*swallows shaven lord whole*
taste kinda like... Cat!
*vommits shaven lord*
IM ALLERGIC!!
* puffs up*
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
*tap* It's so round...
*tap* It's a toy!
*begins chasing shrouded lord around*
53528
Post by: louisb1304
I am so happy I could change and change and change and change and change and change and change and change and change and change and change and change and change
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
I like spikes.
40392
Post by: thenoobbomb
Do you, now?
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
* eats suddenly appearing antidote... Thingy*
*turns to skavenlord*
who you gonna call?
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
GHOSTBUSTERS!
*Ghostbusters smash through a wall*
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
I'm not a ghost...
* ghost busters smash through the same wall on their way out*
75727
Post by: sing your life
Tyranid, do, not, hurt, animals!
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
Or else?
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
Wait, aren't you allergic?
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
*Wakes up in the snow*
Hate when I blow up.
*dusts self off*
It's a good thing I'm indestructible.
*Looks at the slime covered cat thing* Eh...what happened to you?
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
If I touch you with my scything talon, nothing happens. *skavenlord pokes in the face*
*puffs up again*
Fuu....
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
*Turns to Guardsman Bob*
It's a long story.
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
Why is bob indestructible? Is it his glasses?
*pats bob on the shoulder* me an' ol' bobyoh here, we go back a long way. Did he ever tell you about the time he arm wrestled an ork, but then he put on powa Klaw and was sick! Did you ever finish that, bobyoh?
*sigh*
good times, good times.
*looks around* now where did that witch/wizard go, she/he looked tasty.
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
Ooh! Sounds interesting! *vomits a campfire for dramatic atmosphere*
Please! Do tell!
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
*coils up likea snake*
! Tell, bob, tell!
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
*Builds a snow Ork around 12' tall*
So there once was this one ork, who pissed off someone that's not important right now. The ork got his arm cut off, and had it replaced with the biggest, shiniest power klaw you'd ever seen. I think they took it off a deff dread, A GOLDEN DEFF DREAD. Yeah, it was a golden arm.
So, after seeing this, I walk up to the ork. Lookin' it in them beady lil' eyes, I set down a table, and put my powerfist clad hand down.
"Betcha you're power klaw I can beat you in an arm wrestlin' contest"
And the rest is history.
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
History repeats itself!
*Orks start falling from the sky*
75727
Post by: sing your life
Let's not stand on ceremonial grounds, Mr Cat...
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
Alright then. ONWARDS!!
40392
Post by: thenoobbomb
Out of my way, peasant.
75727
Post by: sing your life
Ah, another regal trampling down the hero workers with boots stitched from centuries of privilege.
*Shoots Noobbomb*
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
Damn, I've always wanted to do that. Sadly, I think the commissar has it out for me.
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
That might have something to do with you shooting him up the ass...
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
Hmm? Sorry. Was just thinking about waffles.
*Looks at a fish dressed up as a commissar*
40392
Post by: thenoobbomb
Someone get a servant to prepare that fish!
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
*shoots the fish (in the back?) when it isn't looking*
Someone order some fish?
75727
Post by: sing your life
No differant to the competence of a human commissar.
42382
Post by: Unit1126PLL
*Trundles into the room*
Unit, Combat, 1126PLL of the Line, requesting assignment. Plasma blastgun at full readiness, reactors online, logic engines fully operational.
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
Well I for one am starving. Would you mind shooting the fish a few times? We might as well not leave it lying around.
42382
Post by: Unit1126PLL
It would be my pleasure. Maximal or pulsed?
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
I have no idea what either of those would do... MAAAAAAAAAXIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL!
42382
Post by: Unit1126PLL
Orders accepted. Main weapon charging....
...
...
Complete. Phased plasma chamber full. Discharging...
*FWOOOOOOM*
...
...
Effect on target unclear. Radiation levels exceeding sensor tolerances.
73007
Post by: Grimskul
*walks in*
A talking cat, an indestructible soldier, Bane, and some weird four-armed alien as well as an irresponsible tank commander going maximal?
And they said my theory about the girl scouts being responsible for the crop circles was crazy!
24409
Post by: Matt.Kingsley
You are crazy, those crop circles are made by the great beings who helped us build the pyramids!
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
Damn, the scholars were right. Guess we have to destroy the xenos pyramids now. Bloody shame...
1126 MAXIMAL FIRE!
24409
Post by: Matt.Kingsley
Undead bodies, RISE!
*Hordes of skeletons bock the fire*
We are legion!
42382
Post by: Unit1126PLL
Guardsmen Bob wrote:Damn, the scholars were right. Guess we have to destroy the xenos pyramids now. Bloody shame...
1126 MAXIMAL FIRE!
Affirmative. Target acquired. Plasma chamber full. Firing...
Matt.Kingsley wrote:Undead bodies, RISE!
*Hordes of skeletons bock the fire*
We are legion!
...effect on target negligible. Spectroscopic analysis of debris suggests a heavily-calcium-based ablative armor.
Recommend pulsed fire to boil away ablative layers.
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
*Scrambles on top of 1126, and unsheeths his power fist*
I don't speak tech talk!
CHARGE! CRUSH THEM WITH IMPERIAL STEEL!
FOR THE EMPEROR, and THE LULZ!
24409
Post by: Matt.Kingsley
Awake the constructs
*Sphinxes become Animated*
Defensive formation, Halberds at the ready. Prepare for a killing blow. Constructs, burn them with magic flame!
42382
Post by: Unit1126PLL
Engines engaged. Multiple large constructs detected. Inbound energy weapon discharges. Protocols loaded.
Execute Ferrus Tempestuous.
24409
Post by: Matt.Kingsley
Repair! Repair!
Send in the Serpent Riders! More constructs, better constructs!
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*Thunderhawk Talon of Kraxis entering lower atmosphere. Sensors at full. Imperial Guard units spotted. Target assessment: Stormblade. Infantry deployment non-ideal. Target anti-air support: Non-existent. Moving into ideal vector for strafing run. Charging Turbo-Laser. Standing by for further commands.*
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
*Spits acid at thunder hawk but gets Bob, who is protected by super glasses*
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
I'm blinded!
*stumbles, and falls off the tank into some quicksand.*
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*Tyranid life form detected. Designation: Tyranicus Ophidius Subterra, 'Ravener'. Threat assessment: Negligible. Engaging hover mode.*
71547
Post by: Sgt_Smudge
**plummets out of sky, streaking flames** AAAHHHHH!!! Emperor forsaken Death Star!! Who's idea was it to blow the thing up whilst I infiltrated it?! **takes in surroundings. Sees Bob.** You, Guardsman! Name, rank and where under the Emperor's sun am I?
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
Well, we're underneath a sun. Would that be a good enough description of where we are?
71547
Post by: Sgt_Smudge
What is this heresy? A talking walrus-kitten? It's so... ADORABLE... **bends on knee for SkavenLord** How may I serve you?
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
*Vomits ripe swarms every where*
Mwoo ha ha! Take this zombies! We have more more wounds than you!
24409
Post by: Matt.Kingsley
Zombies? Zombies?! We are no zombies foul Demon-bug! We are skeletons! We are Legion!
71547
Post by: Sgt_Smudge
Die, foul skeleton! Face me at once!
24409
Post by: Matt.Kingsley
This will be over quickly... *Raises Halberd*
Killing blow... Ready to meet your end, foolish man?
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*Additional targets spotted. The Ravener is rapidly multiplying beyond previously known limits. Present AA hostiles remain minimal. The swarm is engaging a horde of unidentified Undead.
Alert. High value target detected. Designation: Loyalist Astartes. Chapter not recognised. Entering visual range, standby.
71547
Post by: Sgt_Smudge
My end? Oh, you are mistaken, wretched scum, for I am Sergeant Smudgius of the Death Angels Chapter, and your pathetic vassals are no match for an Astartes!
**raises axe and shield**
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
*bites random skelaton in half*
BLAH! YOU TASTE LIKE BROKHALI!!
*uses talons to scrape own Tongue, trying to get the taste off.*
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
*Bob's hand juts out of the sand and flails around*
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
DESERT ZOMBIE!
* bites Bob's hand, not realising he is alive*
*hears bob scream*
BOB!
* pulls bob from the sand*
still got that cat?
Yes?
Good, everyone knows skeletons are vulnerable to cats.
ACHOO!
So am I.
Ok, LETS KILL SOME SKELETONS!
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGE! *realizes it doesn't have any back legs*
Erm... You guys go ahead. I'll catch up.
24409
Post by: Matt.Kingsley
You fools! Cat-walruses are weak in the desert! Weak in the sands! Ha ha ha!
Legions, forward! This inconceivably large room will be ours!
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
Curses! Sand! My greatest weakness! Ooh! A tank!
*Sees a tank with a plasma cannon and hops on*
Drive me closer! I want to hit them with my tail!
24409
Post by: Matt.Kingsley
Curses! Wait...
Priest, incant a curse on that cat-walrus before it gets here, otherwise we a re surely doomed!
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
*bursts out of ground and eats priest.*
NO ONE HURTS THE CAT!
He smells like rainbows...
42382
Post by: Unit1126PLL
Primary weapon reporting overheat - coolant venting in progress. *sprays out superheated coolant from vents surrounding the plasma blastgun's muzzle."
Incoming hostile air support. Xenos lifeform detected - threat level aptus non. Recommend: Disengage. Additional: Evade.
Awaiting input.
71547
Post by: Sgt_Smudge
Unit1126PLL! Take out that renegade Thunderhawk! If you can't I'll throw the cat-walrus at it! Everyone knows that cat-walruses can claw open Thunderhawks like paper!
42382
Post by: Unit1126PLL
Sgt_Smudge wrote:Unit1126PLL! Take out that renegade Thunderhawk! If you can't I'll throw the cat-walrus at it! Everyone knows that cat-walruses can claw open Thunderhawks like paper!
Insufficient elevation on primary weapon system. Traverse speeds for secondary weapons inadequate. Recommend: reassess order. Additional: This unit is not optimized for ground-to-air engagement.
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
well, um, shoot ME out of the turret, ill use my serpent body to turn in the air.
42382
Post by: Unit1126PLL
I will comply. Advisory: Your likelyhood of survival is low. Advisory: The likelyhood that you will hit the target is low.
*depresses plasma blastgun barrel towards The Shrouded Lord*
24409
Post by: Matt.Kingsley
You are a fool for eating the priest! We are undead! Even now he can attack you from within!
*Priest casts a hex on the shrouded lord*
See? Even now he fights for his freedom!
We shall cease our attack if you agree not to invade our pyramids, then this unimaginably large room can be at some sort of peace at last...
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
if I die my conscience will just go into one of my ripper/raveners.
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*Heat signatures from Stormblade decreasing. Maintaining position above Baneblade chassis firing vectors. Engaging hover mode. Note: Undead hordes seem prepared to assault the Stormblade. Standing by.*
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
AHHHHH!
*flys through the sky, smoke trailing behind*
*VWWAAA-DIINNNGG*
*hits side of thunderhawk*
om nom nom.
*starts chewing way into thunderhawk*
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
Unit 1126PL! Think you can fire me like a cannonball into that Thunderhawk there too?
42382
Post by: Unit1126PLL
SkavenLord wrote:Unit 1126PL! Think you can fire me like a cannonball into that Thunderhawk there too?
Negative. Thunderhawk has begun hovering directly above this unit. Weapon elevation insufficient. Recommend: Retire from front-line with all due haste away from the Thunderhawk. Additional: Engagement capabilities remain against ground targets.
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
*Looks up in fear*
Sounds good to me! Let's get out of here!
You don't suppose you could back up while firing your turret at the enemy right?
42382
Post by: Unit1126PLL
SkavenLord wrote:*Looks up in fear*
Sounds good to me! Let's get out of here!
You don't suppose you could back up while firing your turret at the enemy right?
Affirmative. *begins to back up away from hordes of undead and out from under thunderhawk, firing.*
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*Full alert. Boarder detected. A Tyranid life-form is penetrating the hull. Bio-acid biomorph likely present. Damage to Thunderhawk functionality remains minimal. Acquiring target... Target acquired. Heavy Bolter auto-turrets activating.*
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
*Bob finishes digging up the sand to reveal a un-exploded battleship shell.*
Oh man...this is going to hurt.
*He punches the shell with his powerfist and causes a HUGE explosion. This propels him through the air towards the Thunderhawk, fist first.*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THAT HURT!
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*Alert. Additional boarders detected. Activating secondary defence systems.*
*Hatches open, and piles of Cultists are kicked out, intended to intercept the attackers.*
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*Among the cultists charges one Firewarrior, Swinging a curved knife.* FOR THE GREATER BLOODSHED!
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
om nom nom *breaks into thunder hawk interior*
now, where is the mountain dew?
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
*curls into a ball and rolls quickly toward thepowerfulwill*
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*Grabs the small creature, Prepares to hurl it at invaders!*
GOOD FOR THE GOOD THRONE!
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
*Obliterates falling cultists with his powerfist as his smashes into...and then out of the thunderhawk.*
Aw nuts!
*Gravity reasserts itself^
Aaaaaaaah!
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*Leans out the newly formed window, and watches the guards man fall.*
*Still holding SkavenLord with one arm, pulls out drone controls with his free hand, shouts into it while foaming at the mouth a bit...*
METAL BEING! BREAK THE FALL OF THIS "GUARDSMAN" I CAN'T REACH HIS BLOOD IF HE FALLS!
*Quiets down a bit*
Besides, he may be a useful auxiliary, if he chooses so....
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
Evil/nice tau, more common then you think...
Om nom nom.
*eats security turret thing*
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*Damage report: hull compromised. Several boarders have left the vessel. Damage to hull makes engaging Stormblade non-recommended. Returning to the Serpent's Revenge for repairs.*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*And suddenly, a wild Big Mek teleports in.*
Wait, wot es th- *He then sees all the carnage, and the fact that he was in one of 'dem Marine gits fightas, so he completely disregards all the commotion around to smash open the interior panels to "check tha tech".*
Ooo, shiny bits!
71547
Post by: Sgt_Smudge
**catches Guardsman Bob in one hand and throws krak grenade at the Thunderhawk 's engines**
Blessed Emperor, guide my throw so that it may smite the unclean heretics that taint Your name!
**grenades explode**
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Oy, wot!? *was the Mek's response, as the Thunderhawk starts shaking.* Oh zog no, ya ain't goin' down wivout me gettin' me loot first!
*So he runs to the back, and brings up his trusty Burna, and clanks down the mureen-cutta nuzzle to try and cut a hole in the roof.*
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
Wait. I'm part walrus. *Looks down at thepowerfulwill* HOW ON EARTH ARE YOU HOLDING ME WITH ONE ARM!?!
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
*eats to the roof*
Why is there an Ork up here?
71547
Post by: Sgt_Smudge
Why ARE we here?!
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*Oh good, now he doesn't have to cut a hole in the roof.* Becuz I got 'ere ta loot sum fings. Like DAT KANNON! *Points at the Thunderhawk Cannon.*
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*The heavy sounds of Marine footfalls on armoured floor plating is heard.*
SKULLS FOR THE THE SKULL THRONE!
Come face me, cowards!
*An Astartes, clad in spiked, white armour with redmetal trims, chainaxe in hand, appears and starts being obnoxious. He quickly singles out the Ork and charges, magnetic bootsoles keeping his steps firm in the shaking, ascending Thunderhawk.*
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*Still battling the roof devouring tyranid, the blood soaked tau shouts to the chaos marine* BROTHER! LET THE ORK'S BLOOD FLOW! TEAR HIS VERY VEINS FROM HIS FLESH! TAKE HIS SKULL AND MAKE IT INTO A CODPIECE!
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Huh? Oh, ya wanna foight ya tin-can git? 'Ell, GIT OVER 'ERE 'DEN!
*Of course, he didn't exactly have the kind of fancy "Sticky Bootz", but his weight does keep him on the Thunderhawk. For a while at least.
Anyway, with a white Spikey-Mureen running straight at him, he opts to point his Burna (with that "Kan-opener bit" still folded down) his way, and charge at him as well, yelling like any respectable Ork would do.*
WAAAAAAGH!
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
*Not to be outdone, the Chaos Marine roars at the top of his vox-amplified lungs, letting loose a deafening praise to the Lord of Battle before heedlessly shoulder-charging the Ork (Space Marine style!)*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*Oh that git ain't gonna outdo him with his know-wotz and cheaty things, so the muzzle of the Burna swings wide to slice the head, which of course results in Crazygit getting quite a spikey shoulder into his face, sending him tumbling down to the side to the wing.*
Ow, dut' 'urt o weeh bid much... *he complained with a broken jaw, as he gets himself back on his feet, and unsheathing his trusty Choppa.*
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*Is nearly deafened by the glorious scream of his fellow khornate, as soon as his head clears, he hurls the Walrus-Cat at the beast above, grinning madly.*
BLOOD FROM THE EARDRUMS IS STILL BLOOD! EXCELLENT WORK COMRADE!
*Notices the fact that the storm raven is about to reach the ground, leaps onto the dazed beast's head and prepares to ride to the ground*
BEAST! I NAME YOU A NEW AUXILIARY! NOW! TO SAFETY!
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Wha-OY! GIT OFFA ME, GIT! *he bellows, as he grabs the rather mad fish-'ead, and hurls him onto the wing, where he proceeds to swing the choppa at his head.*
YE BETTA KNOW BETTA THA' GETTIN' ON ME BACK!
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*Did not jump on the ork...*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Uh...
Did ya jump on 'dat squiggly fing 'dere?
Or tha flyin' fing 'ere?
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*He indeed did, but is highly amused by the pummeling that ork just gave some random cultist.*
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
Thunderhawk Talon of Kraxis, taking heavy damage. Lord Kharaxx is driving off the boarders but the craft has sufferered structural damage. Activating secondary thrusters. Draining emergency fuel reserves. Making for upper atmosphere with all speed.
*Meanwhile Kharaxx, who is, of course, the Chaos Marine fighting the Ork, throws his axe aside and draws his long knife, eager to spill blood...*
THIS SILENCE OFFENDS SLAANESH!
Brother Skrillexus, what-
*Brother Skrillexus, a Noise Champion, appears and plays his extravagant noise weapon. The following scene is forced into the heads of everyone present, but of course, only Skrillexus himself enjoys it.*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_vGb4b3Qvao&t=4m2s
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Ah, 'dat's 'least good! *He would want to chop the head off, but since it's smashed into two pummeled halves, it's not exactly suitable, so he smashes the blade into the arm socket instead to grab the arm, and take a bite of it.*
'Den oI can git sum foo-AWOTDAZOG!?
*Due to the surprise thrusting, he gets completely thrown off balance, and smashes himself on the wing, and almost fell off it it wasn't because he managed to grab the flappy part of the wing.* Zogzogzogzog I gotta GIT BACK ON!
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*Kharaxx kneels, clutching his head in his hands as the horrors of Slaanesh, unbearable even for one such as him, play out in his head. Both he and Skrillexus seem to not fall off, however; their magnetic soles remain functional.*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*Right now, Crazygit couldn't care any less about the horrible sound (even if it makes his ears bleed), as he climbs back onto the wing, and scans for the big gun again.
Which of course still is on top of the Thunderhawk.*
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*Is writhing madly at the sights within his head slamming his fist into the carapace of the tyranid.*
AUXILIARY! THIS (AWESOMELY NAMED) NOISE-CREATURE BURNS MY MIND! THE DOGE AUXILIARY! THE DOGE!
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Gotta... git... dat... GUN! *Crazygit desperately tries to climb up to the main gun, but the sound makes his orky brain dimmer with all sorts of wubs and wows, as he repeatedly slams his head into the wall of the jet.*
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
((I almost feel cruel for linking that gak. I can literally feel my IQ drop when I watch it.))
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
(I'm more surprised why I haven't found this thread earlier. )
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
((Also, Brother Skrillexus is the most brilliant name for a Noise Champion ever devised. Silentspy22 deserves a fething medal for suggesting it.))
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
Sgt_Smudge wrote:**catches Guardsman Bob in one hand and throws krak grenade at the Thunderhawk 's engines**
Blessed Emperor, guide my throw so that it may smite the unclean heretics that taint Your name!
**grenades explode**
*What the space marine really caught was a (dead) guardsman traitor. The real Bob actually flew through the thunderhawk, and fell into a brothel where he was tended too.*
"Ahhem. Sorry ladies, and Daniel, but I've got a job to do." *He walks outside and sees the thunderhawk rise higher into the sky*
"Well , now how am I going to get in on the action?"
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
A tau drone inscribed with the mark of khorne and bearing two poorly welded handles on the sides, floats near by the guardsman. It beckons.
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
* throws off the khorney tau.
Jumps off the thundrhawk, not realising it is rising*
oh, well Me then
*splat*
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
*seeing the drone, Bob hesitates*
"I know I shouldn't go messin' with alien technology...or heretical things. However, they never told me that I couldn't use alien heretic things."
*Rips off the handlebars, and begins to surf the drone*
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
Stop it!
*Kharaxx rises to his feet, walks over to the frenzied Skrillexus and promptly kicks him in the groin. The Noise Champion falls over and lies down on the hull, the pain causing him to both weep and shiver in ecstasy.*
Now, let's see here...
*He puts his dagger back in its sheath before pulling out Gorestorm, his Daemonic power axe. He then begins stalking the roof, searching for any remaining boarders.*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*And the Big Mek was slicing the compartment holding the massive cannon, as he's still determined to get his grubby hands on it.* Ohohoh, 'dis'll fit roight o' me Gargant!
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
You! Greenskin! Stay off that Turbo-Laser!
*Kharaxx draws his dagger and throws it in one motion, aimed for the big green head of the Mek.*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Oh, ya still 'ere, spikey-boy? OI ain't goin' down wivout 'dis fing, loike it er-
*His sentence got interrupted by the sudden knife, so he rolls aside from it, and ends up hanging off of the side again, with the knife in his shoulder.* BAH ZOGGIN' 'ECK! Let me 'least finish!
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*Kharaxx pulls out his Plasma Pistol and aims it squarely for the Ork, carefully fondling the trigger with is index finger but not yet pulling it.*
Prepare to meet your gods, Ork...
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Oh no. *He really doesn't want to get hit by one of those things again, so he slings back along the side to get to the back, ripping the knife out to throw it at him on the way.* ZOG OFF AN' LET ME LOOT!
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*The dagger promptly bounces off Kharaxx' ancient Power Armour, the monomolecular edge leaving quite the mark but not penetrating the plate. He roars in anger and sprints after the Ork.*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*And now Crazygit waits at the back, just waiting for the tin-can marine to appear, so he could give him a good cutting, grinning at the roar he hears.*
Ya, GET OVA 'ERE, YA GIT!
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*Kharaxx hangs his axe on his back and holsters the pistol.*
I will crush you with my bare hands!
*He rushes in and, as soon as he spots the Ork, he leaps at him in attempt to wrest the Burna out of his grasp.*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Ah, a propa fight, eh? *Being a lousy ork that he is, he lights the Burna up and sticks it right into the other's gut, before he leaps out of the way, slamming right into the back of the Turbo-Laser casing.*
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
((Assuming the Kan Opener was activated?))
*Kharaxx leaps onto the Burna, the belief-powered Orkoid weapon slicing into the armour and drawing blood. With a snarl he grabs the Burna and hurls it off the side of the Thunderhawk, before turning his gaze to the Ork, lifting his bladed gauntlets, eyes literally glowing with hatred.*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
(He was using it to cut the casemate of the Turbo-laser, so yeah )
EY! *He lunges his hand at the spiked hand, and another fist at the elbow to try and bend it the wrong way.*
DAT WOS ME GUD BURNA, YA GIT!
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
FEEL THE FIRE OF THREE THOUSAND YEARS' HATRED!
*Kharaxx sidesteps the blows and suddenly catches on fire, the flames spreading quickly from his armour onto the hull around him, and further still. He stands still, roaring in anger, as the blazing wildfire seems to pulse like a grotesque heartbeat.*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
G-AH! *He does not want any of THOSE flames on him, so he backs away, and looks at the other.*
No fair, ya usin' ZOGGY MAGIC!
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*Kharaxx keeps roaring and burning, but something unexpected happens...*
Brother!!! Can you feel the ecstasy!? Oops!
*Skrillexus suddenly appears and seems to try to charge-hug Kharaxx, but he misses and thus nearly a ton of overjoyed Noise Marine happily slams into the Ork with enough force to risk throwing them both off the Thunderhawk. Skrillexus keeps singing something unintelligible sounding like 'WUBWUBWUB', as well as crying and laughing simultaneously.*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*And thus, that's when Crazygit falls off, with an angry and confused whine.*
ZOGGIN' NO!
82949
Post by: Warboss Fleshbull
TIME TO EAT SOME HUMIES!.
INTESTINE STEW LADS!.
*Swings axe at everyone*
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
*lands on rippers*
oh, ok then...
BOOF
*is landed on by an ork*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
OOF! *What an odd crunching sound. At least he didn't die from the fall, so that's goIS THAT 'NOTHA ORK!?*
Orh, ey GITFACE! WOT YA DOIN' CHOPPIN' GITS WIVOUT ME!?
82949
Post by: Warboss Fleshbull
WHAT YOU DOING HERE YOU BLOODY GIT, THOUGH YA WAS SHOTTED FULLA HUMIE BULLETS AT ARMAGEDDAN! *Gives hug whilst holding decapitated guardsman head*.
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*The poor Skrillexus promptly lands on Fleshbull with a loud noise*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
I dun even remember ya, bu' woteva 'E GOT A THUNDERDAKKAJET UP 'DERE dat 'as ME MEGA ZAPPA GUN!
*He points upwards to the flying corrupted Thunderhawk.* An' 'dere's even a PROPA FIGHT up 'dere too, so GIT YA FEET OVER 'ERE SO 'E CAN ZAP UP THERE AGAIN!
Oh, an' 'e could take 'dat pink git over 'dere wiv us fer distrakshun.
82949
Post by: Warboss Fleshbull
Alright who wants of dis intestine soup? got it offa crimson humie after i lopped his ead' off..
*Hands out intestine soup*
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*Skrillexus rises from the dust, his gaze jumping back and forth between the two Orks.*
...Waaagh?
82949
Post by: Warboss Fleshbull
WAAAAAAAAGH!?.
Intestine stew? *Shoves bowl in front of the marine*.
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Roight, les' eat dat stew 'dere, an' GIT GOIN'!
*He grabs the bowl from the other ork, and gulps half of it down, before giving it back to him.* Eh, not bad.
82949
Post by: Warboss Fleshbull
ME STEW! YOU BASTARD!. IM GONNA SKIN YA ALIVE!.
*Brings out knife and jumps on the other ork*
IM FROM DA GOFFS, YOU NEVER MESS WITH A GOFF HOLDING A BLADE YA GIT!.
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*He steps aside, as he smacks a fist to the side of the Goff git's head.* YA OFFERED IT TA ME, YE DUMB GROT! An ya jus dun' skin a ZOGGIN DEFFSKULL!
82949
Post by: Warboss Fleshbull
I DONT CARE IF YA A BLOODY DEFFSKULL YA GIT! I OFFERED IT TO YA, I TOLD YA TO SIT DOWN. NOT GRAB IT OUTTA ME BLOODY HANDS AND DRINK HALFA IT.
*Throws bomb in the room, everything blows up, wakes up dazed*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
QUIT THROWIN' BOwait, ar' we in a room?
*Crazygit looks around rather confused, as he's not exactly sure if he remembers having fallen down into a house.*
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
Uhhh, he knows that bomb was marijuana device, right?
*sees ork dancing*
Nope.
82949
Post by: Warboss Fleshbull
Wha? whadda bloody ell' is going on?.
Ima sorry for da brawling me Ork mate, how abbot we go and eat some of da Squig beer i have in ma pack.
*Brings out two pints, puts on table, drinks one.*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
... Eh, why not. *He grabs one of them, and downs it easily.*
But oI stell need 'dat zoggy Mega Zzappa on dat big jet fing.
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
Emperor's throne they're GREEN! *forgets thepowerfulwill is still holding onto him and drags thepowerfullwill to where the Orks are*
82949
Post by: Warboss Fleshbull
WHADDA BLEEDIN' ELL' IS DIS ANTARTIC CAT, LOOKS TASTIN…MIGHT NEED SOME TYRANID SAUCE...
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
Who? Me? But I'm part walrus! I'll taste chewy!
On a side note, BLEEEEUUUURRRGHH!
*vomits loud metal music*
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
Cat, if you dont shut up, I'm going to eat you. I will explode I'm the process,
But you will die.
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*Skrillexus just stands still, hunched over with an O.O expression and a dropped jaw, not even understanding half of what just happened.*
82949
Post by: Warboss Fleshbull
LOOK AT DAT! WE GOTTA TYRANID AND A CHAOS MARINE!.
TENTACLES AND SHELLFISH SOUP
*Drags out snotling in bag, decapitates it, and eats the head*…
JUST MAKIN MESELF A STARTER
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
*Stops vomiting* Alright! Alright! I'll knock it off!
82949
Post by: Warboss Fleshbull
YOU AINT GETTIN NO-WHERE CAT…
*Grabs cat, throws it in the bag and starts sharpening razor saw blades as cutlery*
OOH, WE GOT US TENTACLE AND SHELLFISH SOUP, WITH A FELINE GRATING ON TOP.
BETTER GET ME CHEESE GRATER…
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
Good...
Also
@orks: when I was dead, mork (or was it gork) appeared to me and said
"oy! Wot da hel Er ya doin' In me dreem land? Get da hel awt!"
82949
Post by: Warboss Fleshbull
the shrouded lord wrote:Good...
Also
@orks: when I was dead, mork (or was it gork) appeared to me and said
"oy! Wot da hel Er ya doin' In me dreem land? Get da hel awt!"
AH, DONT WORRY SPACE LIZZAD. HE DID THAT TO ME ONCE I WAS DECAPITATED BY A BLOODY BLOOD RAVEN GIT.
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
... Roight, I'm outta 'ere.
*And with a VERY loud bang, the Big Mek teleports out of the room, leaving the rest to do whatever they want.*
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*The Noise Marine weeps over the loss of the Mek, and slowly fades out of existence.*
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
82949
Post by: Warboss Fleshbull
NOOOOOOOO! NOW IMMA DA ONLY ORK IN HERE…
*Picks up the guardsman*
OI! PUNY HUMIE! I WANT TO EAT YOUR ARM.
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*Far up above, aboard the Serpent's Revenge, Sorcerer Lord Sharikh covers the faceplate of his helmet with his palm.*
So I'll have to go back in time and get back that Thunderhawk AGAIN? How incompetent is it allowed to be before the Gods end you out of mercy? That was the last time I am sending down Skrillexus and Kharaxx in the same vessel...
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*Crazygit climbs out of the wreckage, since he teleported into the Thunderhawk to try and loot the cannon again, but now that it's crashed, he could easily loot the whole thing!*
Ah HAH! 'Dis is betta than oI THOD! Now ta get me boyz ta haul 'dese parts.
82949
Post by: Warboss Fleshbull
big mek crazygit wrote:*Crazygit climbs out of the wreckage, since he teleported into the Thunderhawk to try and loot the cannon again, but now that it's crashed, he could easily loot the whole thing!*
Ah HAH! 'Dis is betta than oI THOD! Now ta get me boyz ta haul 'dese parts.
OK! LETS GET ON DA LOOTIN' AND SHOOTIN'.
*The two orks drag the loot into the corner*…
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*At the exact same instant, the same identical Thunderhawk appears above their heads as Sharikh went back in time via Warp to grab it before its destruction and place it here. A small, white armoured shape with an axe is waving furiously down at Crazygit from the top of the hull, roaring something unintelligible.*
((TIME PARADOX.))
82949
Post by: Warboss Fleshbull
OH GORK! WHADDA BLEEDIN' HELL IS THIS?!.
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*Charging Turbo-Laser Destructor.*
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*Having thrown the Walrus-Cat at the tyranid quite some time ago, oulls out second dagger as he falls from the crashing thunderhawk, and stab both of them into the hull to stop his desent*
OIL FOR THE OIL GOD!
*He begins to stab his way up to the top of the ship*
CARBURETORS FOR THE CARBURETORS THRONE!
*Atop the ship, calls out to the Tech-Inclined ork.*
MY AUXILIARY HAS FAILED ME! I NAME YOU THE NEW AUXILIARY, IF YOU CAN STOP THIS THING FROM CRASHING, YOU CAN KEEP THE LASER!
82949
Post by: Warboss Fleshbull
OK DOKEY BOSS!.
*Pulls ship up after breaking multiple fingers, switches on automatic field, and saves the crew*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
WHY'S DERE SO MUCH 'APPENIN'!? *he yells, as he immediately runs to the steery-compartment-fingy, smashes the head in of the pilot, and tries to pull the Thunderhawk up to not crash straight down.*
AN' OOVA ORK, GIT 'DAT MUREEN OFFA ME!
82949
Post by: Warboss Fleshbull
ALRIGHT, CHOOPIN DA MAREENS…
*Smashes Marine on the head and throws him off the ship, impaling him on a spike*.
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
Warboss Fleshbull wrote:NOOOOOOOO! NOW IMMA DA ONLY ORK IN HERE…
*Picks up the guardsman*
OI! PUNY HUMIE! I WANT TO EAT YOUR ARM.
*Simply looks up at the ork as he shakes off the landing, powerfist at the ready.*
Oh, you want to eat my arm do yah? Fine, EAT IT! *Powerfist Punch*
44814
Post by: alabamaheretic
*THUNDEROUS STOMPS* YOU WILL ALL PERISH IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZZZZOOOR~!!!!!!
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
AUXILIARIES! TITAN SPOTTED! EVASIVE MANEUVERS! CHARGE WHAT EVER WEAPONS WE HAVE! HURL THE INTERLOPER INTO IT'S BRIDGE! FOR THE GREATER GOOD! THE BLOOD GOD! AND THE WAAAAAH!
44814
Post by: alabamaheretic
*is slightly confused by the weird tau thing takes aim at it*
67614
Post by: DropTroop61
Grav-chutes onto the field
44814
Post by: alabamaheretic
DID YOU SAY BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD CONFUSED TAU? *takes aim at the newly arrived drop troop*
67614
Post by: DropTroop61
looks at the titan
"well then... compensating?"
44814
Post by: alabamaheretic
YOUR JUST MAD THAT I"M SO AWESOME! *fires*
67614
Post by: DropTroop61
"for the love of..."
Activates grav-chute, using its force to accelerate towards the titan, tossing a demo charge onto one of its legs...
"now then, don't do that again or I'll cut you off at the knee"
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*Is in a burning, chaos thunderhawk down to one engine, piloted by orks.* THE MIGHTY KHORNE BRINGS ME MY STRENGTH! I HAVE NO CONFUSION! FOR THE GREATER BLOODSHED! *Goes over to Warboss Fleshbull, hands him some diagrams for field modifications to the stormraven* AUXILIARY FLESHBULL! HOW FAST CAN YOU MAKE THESE HAPPEN? *Evil grin*
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
*After teaching that ork not to eat things that are still alive, Bob dusts himself off.*
"Let's see...the Thunderhawk I destroyed is back, crazy Titan on the loose, and chaos worshiping Tau. Hmm. Yeah, I'm outta here."
*Bob turns about, and walks into the sunset.*
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
YOU! HUMAN! RETURN HERE AT ONCE! I STILL HAVE NOT FELT YOUR BLOOD! ...and you never apologized for wrecking my drone...
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
*Bob continues walks, and just extends the middle finger on his powerfist.*
Here's my apology.
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*Attempts to flip him off back, realizes he doesn't have a middle finger.*
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*ReleasesHIDEOUS REMARKS BEST NOT HEARD MY HUMAN EARS WHILE MANGLING TWO NEARBY CULTISTS* *stormraven interior is now covered in cultist chunks.*
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*The Thunderhawk ceases to hover above, leaving its more ill-fated twin to the greenskins and returns to the ship in orbit.
Up there, the entire Glacier Serpents leadership is having a jolly good time watching the hilarities below, especially the fate of the previous Thunderhawk.*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*But in reality, even if the Thunderhawk piloted by Crazygit seems flying, he really is trying to make it fly back to his camp, but he's having a few difficulties.*
ZodzodzodzogzodzoGOGOG, QWIT STEERIN' DOWN, YA DUMB JET!
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
((Wait... I am confused now. Which of the two Thunderhawks are doing what? O.o))
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
one is in space and an ork stole the other.
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
(I originally thought the first Thunderhawk crashed into the ground, but since it apparently still was in the air, my Mek simply took control of it, and somehow, it still flies (albeit towards the ground, but still).
And that same Thunderhawk's most likely gonna crash at an Ork camp, but with the guys still in it insisting on shooting the guns at the Titan, he needs to think of a way to get them out (which might be harder than it sounds. ))
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
*morphs into a tyrant guard*
lets have some fun.
*looks around at the few remaining skeletons, swatting at the remnents of the ripper swarm.
looks at the thunderhawk, and sees it is heading to an ork camp.
finally, sees titan*
fun.
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*Up in the Serpent's Revenge, Skrillexus and Kharaxx watch the fate of their clones and clone-vessel, Kharaxx having a dour impression and muttering something about weakness while Skrillexus is sporting a manic grin, cheering, laughing and crying unpredictably.*
I tire of this. Prepare a Dreadclaw. I am heading back down.
*With these words, he heads off down to the launch bay.*
((Yes, clone-Kharaxx recieved all the memories of original-Kharaxx. Don't ask me, it's Warp.))
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
(Warp does weird stuff, so that must be normal. :p)
*The thunderhawk struggles to keep itself pointed up, so in the last remaining air time, he thinks about what he could do with it.*
Zoggin' 'eck, where can oI land et? Oh wait, THA LEG!
*He presses the shiny red button that probably means Main Weapon, as he steers the Thunderhawk towards the Titan's leg.*
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
*runs toward the downed (I think) thunder hawk, ripping through cultists and skeletons along the way*
(does anyone want me to explain the "room"?
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
(Well, I pretty much assumed it was a room that everyone forgot about, and accidentally busted out of it. )
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*Was under the impression the room was in a house, and the house got destroyed.* *Noticed he is about ram the titan* YES! EXCELLENT WORK AUXILIARY CRAZY GIT! RAM THEM! IF WE CAN BOARD, AND TAKE THE TITAN, THERE IS NO TELLING WHAT WE CAN KILL! FOR THE GREATER BLOODSHED!
78065
Post by: SkavenLord
(I thought the room was destroyed several times a long time ago and we're now in a desert due to undead attacks.)
*Sees everyone else dashing to the Thunderhawk and decides to start dashing to the Thunderhawk*
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
(we're in a dyson sphere. It started as snow, but the undead made it desert. And now there are a regiment if guard and irks and stuff)
How can I see without my eyes?
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
ROIGHT YA CRAZY FISH-'EAD GIT! GET TO DA FRONT 'DEN!
*Crazygit smashes a button that looks like a ramp button, and luckily, it was the button to open the front of the Thunderhawk. And the button he pressed before flashes red now, so out of curiosity, he pressed it again, resulting in the Turbo-Laser firing (and pushing the nose of the aircraft a bit more up.*
THAR WE GO!
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*Readies a slightly undersized chain-axe with both hands, climbs to the front of the craft, ready to board*
GOOD WORK! NOW CHARGE! FOR THE GREATER BLOOD-WAAAH!
44814
Post by: alabamaheretic
*continues to be slightly confused by the tau and charges the laser again to fire looking for more targets*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*And of course Crazygit missed the leg with the Turbo-Laser shot, so he proceeds with the plan of crashing the plane into the Titan's knee.*
I sure 'ope tha Big Zzap gun survives 'dis... *he says, as he teleports out of the cockpit just as the aircraft slams into the Titan's leg.*
44814
Post by: alabamaheretic
FOOLISH ORK! I"M SO AWESOME I AM INVUNERABLE TO CRASHING AIRPLANES! *takes aim at the crashing thunder hawk and fires and explodes it in to little bits miraculously the turbo laser from the thunderhawk survives*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*And Crazygit spectates the action, and was almost going into a fit rage, until he saw a stick of what looks like the Turbo-Laser. Now cheerful, he tries to teleport back, just to remember that it needs to recharge first.*
... Ah zog it. OI need tha exah... echs... eh... WOTEVA, THA WALKIN'!
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*Leaps from the crashing vehicle as it plummets into the massive warmachine's (No not that kind) leg, digging his chain axe into it's metal hide.*
KHORNE WILL HAVE THIS PRIZE!
*Revs up chain-axe, still stuck into the metal, the movement of the blades carrying him up to the top of the titan*
AUXILIARIES! WHEN THIS PRIZE IS OURS I MAY NEED YOU TO HELP CREW IT, DO YOU ACCEPT?
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
*Bob takes another sip of recaff that he purchased from a not-so-nearby tavern.*
"...I mean, seriously. There's no telling what the warp was going on, so I just thought 'Bob, you gotta get outta here'. And so I'm here. What's your name baby?"
He gives a grin to the waitress. (for grin, see avatar pic)
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*The Tavern shakes violently, a blood-soaked crisis suit crashes through the wall*
PENDING AUXILIARY BOB! YOU ARE NEEDED IN THE BATTLE AGAINST A TITAN! JOIN US OR WE WILL DRINK YOUR BLOOD OUT OF A CUP MADE FROM YOUR SKULL!
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
*Bob's drink falls to the ground*
"Baby, I'll get back to you in a moment."
*Bob turns to the crisis suit, activating his powerfist*
"I thought yah Tau were much more 'civilized' then that. It's rude to crash into someones building, and interrupt a man talkin' to a pretty thing."
67614
Post by: DropTroop61
activates the detonator for the demo charge he placed on the Titan's leg and calmly walks away from the ensuing chaos
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
*looks all the wAy over at tavern*
umm, bob...
Isnt that your cousin?
Are your glasses broke agAin?
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*And Crazygit joins in at the tavern, dragging the bigger-than-'e-thought-it-wud-be-but-woteva Turbo Laser behind him.*
Yeh, 'dere's a Imperul Gargant out 'dere, an' oI wanna loot it! Jus' need ta wire 'dis fing up again tho.
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
Kabooom!
*With a thundering sound, a white-painted Dreadclaw slams down outside the inn and disgorges Kharaxx, now clad in his personal armour and with a unique horned helmet. Holding his Power Axe Gorestorm in his right hand and resting it on his shoulder, he simultaneously draws his preferred secondary weapon- a large knife- and holds it in the other hand. He lifts his left fist and punches straight through the inn wall, tearing open a hole and breaking his way inside.*
We have unfinished business, greenskin...
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Uh? *he says, as he looks over at the mureen, mumbling something like "Ah zod, nut dat git 'gain...".*
Ah, ya got 'ere ta git sum more beatin', spikey mureen?
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*Kharaxx roars in anger and starts spinning with his axe like a bloodthirsty cyclone, mysterious red energies emanating from his axe not only maintaining his motion but increasing its speed. Slowly, this living whirlwind moves closer to the Mek, making a terrible mess out of the inn on the way.*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*The mek realizes that getting hit by that choppa might hurt more than usual, so he backs up, as he takes his own choppa up.* Oh so ya usin' a weird chain choppa? Heh, oI got un meself, 'dat I MADE!
*And with a slam on a table that broke on impact, the choppa immediately emits arcs of zaps, as the choppa slowly turns red from heat.* DIDN'T 'SPECT THAT THAT, DID YA!?
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
*the axe starts scratching against armoured plates*
ha ha ha. Tickles...
*stabs skrillexus through the shoulder*
*the marine just laughs*
oops.
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*Kharaxx ignores the threats and continues to slowly approach the Ork, all the hapless chairs, tables and other items in the inn becoming pulverised when he reaches them as he grinds on like a malicious lawnmower.*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*And now, Crazygit stands there, ready for the other to get close enough for him to charge in. But as soon as he was about to run into the other's Axe, he zaps behind him to try and chop him from behind.
Unfortunately for the Ork, he haven't designed the tellyporta to change direction, so he swings the opposite way, and quickly turns around when he realizes the error, and swings again.*
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
*While the bar room 'brawl' goes on, Bob works to save the humans in the tavern.*
"Where ever I go...this always seems to happen."
*Once all the humans are out, bob smashes the last support beam, and throws a Molotov. The whole place begins to collapse, and burn.*
"I don't know if the insurance would cover a random alien/heretic cluster , but they should cover fires. Now go find somewhere safe to hide...like the next planet over. This is just going to get worse."
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*The crisis suit, unfazed by the collapse grabs the chaos marine and the ork in each of it's hands*
THE KHORNE-ORK ALLIANCE REQUIRES YOUR HELP, YOU MAY SPILL EACH OTHER AFTER'S BLOOD AFTER WE TAKE THE TITAN.
*Far off the odd tau desperately grips his axe as the titan collapsed from the detonation in it's knee, just barely staying on the thing as it falls, now stuck on it's back.*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Ey, GIT YA 'ANDS OFFA ME, FISHY-'EAD! 'E WERE FOIGHTIN' 'ERE AN' YA DUN' INEROH ZOG, NOT ME BIGGA ZAPPAH!
As soon as the Mekboy saw his big prized gun in the burning tavern, he immediately sprints at it to grab the end sticking out, and drags it out. Luckily for him, it didn't seem to have taken any damage.* Oh fank Mork...
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*The crisis suit just kinda looks at the marine in his hand, and facepalms with the other*
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
*The Marine looks unimpressed to say the least.*
67614
Post by: DropTroop61
"heretics and filth the lot of you"
starts unloading his hellgun into the mass of xenos and chaos adherents
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
*The crisis suit makes it's armor save, then looks pissed... Somehow*
*It looks around at the still living patrons of the tavern. They are mostly imperial citizens, but there are some in archaic suits of armor, almost fantasy like, and a few inebriated orks as well*
I name you all as auxiliaries in a temporary black crusade!
*Points at the man who so rudely tried to kill them*
Against this man!
*The patrons cheer then raise what ever weapons they have*
(( OOC: yep, I just added warhammer fantasy to this thread ))
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
Kharaxx sighs and picks up his speed, heading for the exit. The massive Astartes run straight through the hapless patrons, crushing those unfortunate enough to be in his path as if they weren't even there.
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
*Bob stands up from the wreckage that was the tavern, and watches what's left of the heretical patrons struggle and burn. A single woman reaches up to him with pleading eyes. "Mercy my lord...I just wanted to be, be beautiful forever." she cries.
*Bob looks down to her, over his shades, and says.* "Baby...you'd be the most beautiful woman on this planet if it weren't for that little black stain there."
"What!? Black stain where!?" She screams, arms flailing to remove the burning timber to find the imperfection.
Looking up, and drawing a laspistol, Bob says. "The one on on your soul"
Bob begins to exit the hellhole, not noticing the traitor marine thanks to the heat and debris.
44702
Post by: Trondheim
What in the name of all things unholu has happend here? I am away for like a few milleiums and everyone gets delusions of grandure! And burns down a tavern?
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*And when everyone's gone, the Big Mek uncovers himself from the ruined Tavern, and stumbles outside of it, and have completely forgotten about his Turbo-Laser that went kaboom with the Tavern.*
Ooow... zoggin' 'eck, 'dat hurt.
(And holy crap it's been a long time since I've posted anything on this thread.)
44702
Post by: Trondheim
The looming figure of the wolf lord casts a long shadow as he leaves the ruins behind.. His axe feels reasuirngly heavy in his grip as he begins to look for the ones behind the devestation wrougth to this place.
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
((Trondheim. It is your picture you are portraying not your title...))
*The crisis suit turns to the guardsman*
Stop killing my auxiliaries! I need those!
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*His back hurt a good bit, as he presses his hands on it and stretches, before he sees the Wolfie.*
Ey, 'nother tin-can Murine!
(Just let him, Willie. :p)
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
((How did you know my name?))
*The suit turns to the ork, and offers his the severed arm of another crisis suit, a massive fusion blasted bolted on to it.*
Take this. Destroy our enemies.
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Oh, oI sure can use 'dis fer one o' me dreads!
*He grabs it, and almost rips it out of the other's hand, and looks at it a bit.*
(I just said the last part of your username, but I didn't think that was your actual name )
44702
Post by: Trondheim
thepowerfulwill wrote:((Trondheim. It is your picture you are portraying not your title...))
*The crisis suit turns to the guardsman*
Stop killing my auxiliaries! I need those!
( It is representing my avatar, seeing how I have that symbol my Wolf lord! but to sooth your pains Il find a more wolf like picture)
"The air reeks of taint, both of xenos and far worse! I smell heresy! " he growls before adjusting the great pelt hung across his shoulders
76888
Post by: Tyran
An Ultraliks observes stuff of another universe. WTF is happening here?
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
Tyran wrote:An Ultraliks observes stuff of another universe. WTF is happening here?
*Malal speaks from the void of ret-conned 40k characters*
Warhammer 40k. Warhammer 40k is happening...
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Trondheim wrote:( It is representing my avatar, seeing how I have that symbol my Wolf lord! but to sooth your pains I'll find a more wolf like picture)
"The air reeks of taint, both of xenos and far worse! I smell heresy! " he growls before adjusting the great pelt hung across his shoulders
(It was okay at first, but alright. :p)
Ey, are ya talkin' dumpy on me, ya git? Ye wanna FOIGHT ME!?
*He straps the Fushion Blaster he got to his back, grabs his "Speshul" Choppa; bashing it into the ground for it to activate, and trots forward at the wolf marine.*
'Den COME GET ME!
76888
Post by: Tyran
thepowerfulwill wrote: Tyran wrote:An Ultraliks observes stuff of another universe. WTF is happening here?
*Malal speaks from the void of ret-conned 40k characters*
Warhammer 40k. Warhammer 40k is happening...
Damn, I left SC2 to get away from this.
44702
Post by: Trondheim
"In the name of Russ and the all father I will rather die than allow you to pass me Ork!" the veteran of the long war in the heaven snarls and presses the activation rune on his axe, gunning the trigger so the chain axe howls in anticipation for the violence to come
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Haha, THA'S DA SPIRIT! *He now starts to sprint at the Wolf Marine, grinning behind his metal jaw as he almost gets close enough to swing his axe.*
WAAAAAAGH!
44702
Post by: Trondheim
He can feel the smell of the brute as it comes at him, howling its warcry and gripping its axe. as mere meters seperate the two he lunges into action, his enhancned body and the sacred war plate he wears giving him the ability to greet the charge of the beast in kind.
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*And as soon as they actually got close enough, he swings his big ol' heated choppa at the marine, which would normally melt through an "ordinary" marine's armor with ease. However, it doesn't seem to be the case here, as it only makes a deep dent, as the ork Mek slams into the Wolf.*
OW!
44702
Post by: Trondheim
He feels the blow before it graces his left shoulder, but as the heat stings his face and the crash of metal on metal fills his ears he knows the armour has held up to the savage blow.
Snarling like a feral beast the son of Fenris grinns and offers a quick prayer of thanks to the Iron priest .
"My turn Ork........"
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*But the ork pushes himself off of the other, and stumbles back.*
Wha-?
44702
Post by: Trondheim
Gripping the axe in both hands he feels the savage beast within him how and tear at its chains. The howling almost drowns out all other sounds, even though it comes from withon his own mind.
"Time to bleed greenskin! Unless you wish to shed ligth on why you ruined the one place I could find any clue to how in the nine hells I ended up here!"
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*Still a little bit dazed by the head-on collision with the other, he jumps a bit to the side, with some of his arm shaved off from the axe, and retaliates with the Choppa going right to the other's waist.*
Oh dat's tha 'Umie Git with tha glasses!
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
Kharaxx halts his rampage for a moment, realising that while he is killing numerous hapless civilians, he is not really achieving much for the battle. He turns around, his eyes widening as he spots a Wolf Lord, a servant of the False Emperor and perhaps even a fellow veteran of the Long War! A worthy skull indeed!
With a blood-curdling battlecry, he rushes at the Wolf Lord and hurls himself at him, throwing his weapons in mid-air, intending to simply use the weight and force of his impact to force the Wolf Lord to the ground so that it will turn into a wrestling-and-punching battle there.
DEATH TO THE FALSE EMPEROR!
74772
Post by: the shrouded lord
(awesome, I was sad this thread had died :( )
*the tyrant guard roars in pain, and with a horrid squelch, explodes into a shower of gore that rains down everywhere*
*the chaos tau starts dancing*
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
After walking about twenty yards out of the tavern, Bob turns to see it still embroiled in chaos!
"How many times do I have to destroy that place before they get the hint THAT THEY NEED TO DIE?!" He growls from behind his Glasses.
Powering up his trusty powerfist, the lone guardsman charges back into the fray!
"FOR THE EMPEROR!"
44702
Post by: Trondheim
Sidestepping the blow while furioslt squeezng the trigger of his plasma pistiol he growls in satisfaction. This a good way to spend time.
Then he hears the unmistekebal sound of a heretic! He sees the traitor hurl himself and his axe into the air towards him.
"Not today heretic, not today!" he smiles and simply kneels so that the traitor hurls over him, and slamms into the Ork
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Oh, 'notha git joins into tha fight! *he bellows, as he swings the choppa at the Wolf Lord's head, before he slams into the Mek, who almost gets launched backwards.*
Ooof, dat un' broke somethin' in me. OH WELL!
44702
Post by: Trondheim
"Have fun cuddeling with the heretic Ork!" the wolf lord says as he barely avoids the blow aimed at his head, but much to his anger the blow cuts of a long lock of hair
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Cuddlin'? I dun' get it, but 'DAT STILL OFFEN'S ME!
*Now he takes his trusty Burna up, and sprays the flames at the Wolf Marine.*
44702
Post by: Trondheim
"Why yes Ork, you SHOULD be offended!" he says before the roaring flames forces him to give ground, and such avoid becoming barbeque
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
I KNEW ET! Ya fink ye such a zoggin' effin' smart git, but guess wot?
*A rokk pummels down into the already ruined Tavern, and with roars and fumes, a Mega Dread with a couple of Killa Kans emerges. But it seems that the big Dread got one of its feet mangled in the fall, as it stumbles out with the Kans stomping forward.*
ME DREADS!
44702
Post by: Trondheim
"Oh my, well glad to see that you posses a bit of intelect Ork. I see it was wise of me to bring this along then." the wolf says while grinning, displaying his teeth.
The earth rumbels and as the Orkoid war machines approaches a looming figure emmerges out from the gloom.
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*And with the fact that the Kans are piloted by grots, they quickly stops in their tracks, and starts to flee one after another. But the Mega Dread nor the Big Mek didn't care, as he quickly fixes the foot, and trundles forward with it.*
Oh, I see ye got ya own Dread?
78234
Post by: thepowerfulwill
Auxiliary! I will battle the dreadnought!
*The crisis suit charges forwards, twin plasma guns at the ready*
FOR THE GREATER BLOODSHED!
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*But the Mega Dread will have none of the Tau's business, so it sprints forward, with its Killkannon shooting at the Crisis Suit to try and get him away from what's his own damn enemy.*
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
Bob leaps off a mound of debris onto the unsuspecting Dreads back.
"That's allot of metal protecting whatever's inside. Luckily, I brought a can opener!"
He begins tearing through the back of the dread with his powerfist.
50541
Post by: Ashiraya
Kharaxx lands with a roll, but is not deterred; he starts running back and throws himself at the Wolf Lord again, this time from behind.
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*But Crazygit followed his precious Dread, and as soon as Bob grabbed onto it, he grabs the guardsman's leg to throw him down to the ground.*
NOT 'N MAH WATCH!
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
Bob lands with a thud, but isn't deterred.
"Watch this!" He pulls out his pistol, and shoots for the orks augmented eye.
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*But before he could do that, the Mek had already stomped on Bob's jimmies, and spews him with flames from his Burna.*
Watch wot, ya git?
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
Bob coughs out smoke, his armor still smoldering.
"Well...I got this. I think it might be important."
In his hand looks like some sort of pump from the Dread.
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*He grabs it,a nd looks at it, before he throws it away again.*
Nah, jus' a bit I put on ta grab on.
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
"I see...well it did look pretty neat, so I can see why you grabbed it."
Bob walks off towards the Killa Kans.
"You don't care about them do yah?"
44702
Post by: Trondheim
" Indeed Ork, Indeed I did not come alone. Now meet my dear brother!" the lord growls as the towering figure of a Contemptor dreadnaugth appears out of the smoke and dust to stand beside him
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*And the Mega Dread keeps charging in to the figure; that turns out to be a revered Contemptor Dreadnought, as it keeps firing its Killkannon at it.
And the Ork Mek just shakes his head at Bob giving chase to the Kans that just found their courage again to go against him.* Nah, ye can 'ave 'dose fings.
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
Bob simply grins, and charges off to dismantle the Kans.
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
*But the Kans does fight back, as they snap their claws, saws with their sawblades and fires their guns at Bob.*
83559
Post by: Archie The Death Rider
*Kreiger walks in and stares at everyone emotionlessly*
Her…HERESY?!….XENOS!!!
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Ey' 'e've been 'ere a long toime now. Es it 'dat big o' a surprise?
83559
Post by: Archie The Death Rider
*Kreiger throws himself at Krazy Git. Hoping of a glorious death for the Big E*
KIIIIIIIIILLL MEEE!
66111
Post by: Guardsmen Bob
big mek crazygit wrote:*But the Kans does fight back, as they snap their claws, saws with their sawblades and fires their guns at Bob.*
The grots inside can't fire worth crap, and Bob dodges the rest.
"I hope there's no cogboys nearby." he says as he rips a greenskin out of a kan, and takes control.
"Now for some real fun!"
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Not so fast, pantzee git! *he shouts, as he clamps his hand around Krieger's neck.* Jus' killin' ye wouldn't be much fun. Nah, puttin' you on a spike! Dat sounds betta!
83559
Post by: Archie The Death Rider
"HANS! COME TO THE RESCUE!"
*Giant Kreig Horse arrives and tramples Krazy Git, leaving him bloodied and on the floor confused*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Guardsmen Bob wrote:
The grots inside can't fire worth crap, and Bob dodges the rest.
I hope there's no cogboys nearby." he says as he rips a greenskin out of a kan, and takes control.
Now for some real fun! :E
*But due to the nature of Killa Kans, the grot gets his scalp torn up, as wirey bits gets pulled out and ripping it open, and the other Kans slices at the body.*
19909
Post by: Freddie Gibbs
Archie The Death Rider wrote:"HANS! COME TO THE RESCUE!"
*Giant Kreig Horse arrives and tramples Krazy Git, leaving him bloodied and on the floor confused*
*And he looks around to see where the hollaring was coming from, and runs to the side from it to avoid the horse, and brings his burna back up to bear.* Ye and ya zoggin HORSES!
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