originally posted
by Kid Kyoto
Today is a historic day for the Space Empire as Baracus is chosen as Warmaster. Baracus is the first Black Templar to achieve this office. Many marines remember a time when Black Templars were not even allowed to vote in Space Marine Councils.
Warmaster Baracus dons his ceremonial armour
However some found comfort from the fact that his Warmaster Secundus is a White Scar.
Baracus' campaign was bitterly opposed by Machain, an Ultramarine hero who was once held prisoner for 6 years. Machain also made history by choosing Sister Palatine of the Adeptus Soritus as his Warmaster Secundus, the first time a Battle Sister was nominated for the post.
Baracus assumes his post in a troubled time with the Space Empire engulfed in two wars and an economy still reeling from a crash in the price of Franklin Mint Collector's Plates.
He will replace outgoing Warmaster Vepres in 2 months.
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Warmaster Baracus delivers Medkit Reforms
Speaking today from the Black Citadel Warmaster Baracus announced a new plan that will either provide medical care to all commoners or bankrupt the Imperium.
His controversial plan, dubbed BaracusCare, will either save trillions of lives across the galaxy, or create Kill Panels which will process surplus elderly into Soylent Green. Possibly both.
Warmaster Baracus who is either the savior of Trillions or bloodthirsty tyrant who will doom us all
The 40,000 page medkit plan either saves trillions of thrones or will require an entire planet made of electrum to pay for it.
File photo of Warmaster Secundus Fabius Biden
It is generally agreed that Warmaster Baracus' plan is either the greatest thing the Imperium has ever done for commoners, or a sinister plan by the Warmaster to enslave us for all time. Or perhaps neither.
One thing all agree on is that, in the words of the Warmaster Secundus, this is a big fething deal.
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Ezekyle Bin Abaddon killed in Daring Raid!
Today the Golden Throne announced the intergalactic terrorist mastermind Ezekyle Bin Abaddon was killed in a daring dawn raid by Imperial special forces.
File photo of Ezekyle Bin Abaddon
Abaddon has long been sought by Inquisition, Imperial Guard and Astres forces for several Black Crusades including the infamous M31 attacks on the Imperial Palace, the Black Ministry and a field on Holy Terra.
The success is seen as a triumph for Warmaster Obamacus who has been beset with criticism lately including allegations from Rogue Trader D. Ronald Trumpticus he was was born outside the borders of the Imperium. However those critics were silent today as he described how a small force of 4 Storm Ravens descended on Abaddon's walled compound in a resort town on Cadia. There an elite team of Grey Knights succeeded in finding and killing Abaddon even as the Arch Heretic used a woman as a human shield. A single storm bolter shot to the head finished the job. "In hindsight" Obamicus said "he probably should have worn his helmet."
Three hundred other heretics were killing the operation. One Storm Raven was lost due to mechanical failure but no Imperial forces were lost.
There had been speculation for millennia where Abaddon was hiding with many suspecting he was in a cave in the Tribal Regions of the Eye of Terror and others suspecting he was dead. Many were shocked to find he was living in this sprawling compound just miles from the Cadian Military Academy of Cadia. The 88 acre compound was ringed with a wall in the shape of an eight-pointed star and had a central bunker shaped like a skull.
Bin Abaddon's compound
Local residents reported the compound had no vox or Worlds Wide Webway connection, the inhabitants always burned their garbage and occasionally truck-loads of screaming babies would enter and none would leave. "We always figured they were some harmless eccentrics" one resident said "y'know pensioners or maybe musicians or something, sure I'd heard of Abaddon, who hasn't but I never thought he could be hiding in my neighborhood. Though now that you mention it, it does explain the daemonic howling and fountains of blood..."
For Imperial subjects it was a day of jubilation. Jubulent crowds assembled outside the White Citadel waving banners and singing Imperial anthems. Warmaster Obamacus declared a half day of rest for weary Imperial workers and a double ration of grog. "I had my doubts about Warmaster Obamacus, y'know what with him being a Black Templar and all that, but he did OK, he's a real credit to his Chapter" said Lord Militant McKayne who once opposed Warmaster Obamacus' ascention.
Abaddon's corpse was quietly dumped in a black hole to deny it to his remaining loyalists.
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Civil War! Warmaster Challenged by Rogue Trader!
It was 4 years ago Baracus Obamacus became Warmaster, the first Black Templar to ascend to that office. But now his reign is challenged by the Rogue Trader Romulous Bane and his Secondus Saul Rand.
In this file photo Rogue Trader Romulous explains to Saul Rand how Trading Houses are in fact people
Romulous has a long career of looting and pillaging whole worlds for his own profit but is stained by accusations he may not have paid the proper tithes on his riches. Moreover he once supported giving commoners access to Medicaes, though he now denies it. Saul Rand has youthful energy and a plan to process the idle elderly into productive bars of Soylent Green.
Their clash will truly shake the cosmos!
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Civil War! The battle turns ugly!
The ongoing war between Warmaster Obamicus Baracus and Rogue Trader Romulous Bane has turned ugly.
Bane's camp claims that during Baracus' time on the world of Indonesitau he was inducted into the way of the greater good.
Photo released by Romulous Bane showing Warmaster Baracus is in fact a secret Tau sympathizer
The Warmaster hit back with evidence that Bane is in fact an alien monster who wants to consume us all.
Romulous Bane leads another hostile acquisition
They demand he release 10 years of genetic screening records to prove he is in fact human.
Speaking from his Campaign Cruiser Bane said "I have already given the little people more than enough."
He then unleashed his hoard on reporters ending further questioning.
Romulous Bane and his closest advisers
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