Space Marines Previews- Good Space Marines
by Kid_Kyoto
Blue
The Blue Space Marines are like, the best Space Marines ever! They're Blue and they're Space Marines! They like to follow rules just like Cub Scouts so they don't have any super powers or special units but they do have a guy with two big fists and a lot of bling. That makes them the best! they doo pewn soo much :L i win with them like pwn ting
Red
Unlike the Blue Space Marines, the Red Space Marines flip ALL THE TIME! When they're not dressing in gold body suits or exchanging bodily fluids with their brothers they're just flipping out and running forward screaming. Sometimes some of them do a total flip out and become Super Black Red X Space Marines. Super Black Red X Space Marines have SUPER POWERS!
Green
The Green Space Marines have a terrible, dark secret that I'm not going to tell you. Because it's terrible. And dark. And SECRET. You see this one time the Emperor and the Boss Green Space Marine were in Tiajuana and they were doing tequila shots and the next thing you know? WAIT! You almost tricked me into telling the Dark Terrible Secret! Let's just say that the Boss Green Space Marines like to wear dresses and hang out with midgets. And the Big Green Space Marines likes to wear feathers. Then there's the naked water polo. OK. That's all I'm saying. You can draw your own conclusions.
Grey
The Grey Space Marines like to drink beer and wear a lot of leather. They also like hunting and fishing and riding Harleys and watching college football. They think the Blue Space Marines are wimps and question the lifestyle choices of the Green Space Marines. And they have super powers. No one knows why anyone plays anything but Grey Space Marines. ? Sneak Preview of Codex Grey Space Marines
Black
Unlike other Space Marines, the Black Space Marines really, really, like the Emperor. They like him with every part of their body, even their pee-pees. They, like, want to have a million of the Emperor's babies. That's how much they like him. Black Space Marines all have super powers!
Yellow
A long time ago the Space Emperor gave some Space Marines a very important job to protect his Space House. But the Bad Space Marines came and made a big mess and the Space Emperor had to go out and yell at the Bad Space Marine Boss himself. After that he got very (X2) mad at the Space Marines who let him down and made them wear yellow forever and ever as a sign of how uncool they are. Since that day they have been known as the Yellow Space Marines.
Blue and Red
This one time the Green Guys attacked the Blue and Red Space Marines' Space House so the Blue and Red Space Marines sent a Space Rocket to kill all the Green Guys but the Space Rocket was no good so it blew up the Blue and Red Space Marines' Space House. Everyone thought this was funny except for the Blue and Red Space Marines because they had to march around and fight a fight in an old farm and stuff. They got real, real mad and waved their Big Fists in the air and yelled a lot until the Green Guys got real, real scared and left. A lot of people get confused with the Blue Space Marines and the Blue and Red Space Marines but you can tell the difference because the Blue and Red Space Marines are blue and red but the Blue Space Marines are blue. The Blue and Red Space Marines Boss is Mr. Cortez but he's very, very ugly and no one likes him so the Blue Space Marines didn't let him in the Big Space Marine Book.
White
The White Space Marines like to ride their bikes through town on gay Sunday afternoons and feel the spring breeze through their hair. When they ride their bikes through the town all the ladies come to their windows and wave their perfumed handkerchiefs at the White Space Marines and their well-groomed mustaches. The White Space Marines wave back to them in a gentlemanly manner. But when the Black Space Marines try to move into the neighborhood and start bothering the White Space Marines' womenfolk they get angry. They put on their starched white hoods and got learn them Black Space Marines some manners. They say someday a Black & White Space Marine on a Black & White Bike will come and make peace between the Black Space Marines and the White Space Marines.
Shiny
Unlike other Space Marines, the Shiny Space Marines, really, really hate the Space Demons. They want to hunt the demons and kill them their Pointy Sticks and special magic Guns of Space Demon Killing. Unlike other Space Marines they are very (X2) rare which is why you can only have fifty (50) of them in your army.
In Black
Unlike other Space Marines the Marines in Black really (X2) hate the Space Aliens. They, like, want to watch the death of the all the Space Aliens. This why sometimes they are called the Guys Who Like to Watch Death. Some people confuse them with the Black Space Marines, the Other Black Space Marines, the Flying Black Space Marines and the Bionic Space Marines. But they're different. They're the Marines in Black. You can tell because their guns have super powers and because they have one silver sleeve. That?s one silver sleeve each of course. Not like, one silver sleeve for the whole army. That would be silly.
Gold
The Gold Space Marines are Super Secret Special. Only Cool People can play Gold Space Marines. That's why we don't sell Gold Space Marines, because they are special. To unlock Gold Space Marines you must win five Grand Tournaments using Orks, Tau, Swordwind Space Elves, Thousand Sons and Kroot. In that order. Then we will give you a Special Army Box with Gold Space Marines and a Special Codex written on unphotocopyable paper. Then everyone will know you are a Cool Person Who Can Play Gold Space Marines.
The Other Black
Unlike other Space Marines The Other Black Space Marines like to put very (X2) many skulls on their armor and a lot (X2) of fire and tons (X2) of bones. Maybe they have a curse or something or maybe they're just the Coolest Space Marines Out There. Like the Black Space Marines The Other Black Space Marines have many many Super Powers. For example they can teleport and turn invisible and swim and talk to fish. That's how cool they are.
Werewolf
Unlike Zombie Space Marines and Vampire Space Marines the Werewolf Space Marines are Werewolves. Watch out cause when the moon is full the Werewolf Space Marines are on the prowl! Arroo! Werewolf Space Marines have many (X2) superpowers for example they smell real (X2) good and and can lick themselves in 'that place'. However Werewolf Space Marines can't get Driver's Licences so they can't drive in Space Marine Minivans like other Space Marines. This makes them very (X2) mad.
Robot
Unlike other Space Marines the Robot Space Marines like to kill everyone because they're mean and have skulls for heads. They have Magic Space Guns that can kill anyone. They also have super powers like Wolverine's Mutant Healing Factor but for Robots. It's called "I'll Be Back" That's a cool name. Someone should use that line in a movie. They also have un-killable Space Gods who like to hang out with them and kill everyone instead of just eating the sun which would kill everyone faster but would make a boring game. It's OK for them to have Space Gods who can eat suns but it is not OK to make rules for the Emperor or the Primarchs because they?re too powerful. They also have flying Space Houses that kill everyone and can't die. And they're very (X2) easy to paint too.
Ninja
The Ninja Space Marines have all the powers of a Ninja PLUS all the powers of a Marine and they're in SPACE! Way cool! The boy Ninja Space Marines are good at killing people. The girl Ninja Space Marines are good at pretending to be all nice and sweet and saying that they like you but then they BETRAY YOU AND CUT OUT YOUR HEART! I hate them I hate them I hate them!
Girl
The Girl Space Marines are weak and slow and die easy. This is because they are girls. They also have magic girl powers. This is because they are girls. The Girl Space Marines like to burn things. Once a month they get the Red Rage and like to smash things or cry. They also like to act all sweet and pretty and nice and then THEY RIP A MAN'S HEART OUT AND LAUGH AND LAUGH AND LAUGH! I hate Girls. I like little toy men. They never hurt me. Sometimes I want to make Girl Space Marines take off their clothes and then I'll stick needles in them and make them run around naked while someone whips them because Girls are naughty and should be punished. I think about this a lot.
Bosses with Skulls on Their Heads
Unlike other Space Marines The Boss Marines With Skulls On Their Heads have skulls on their heads. Now of course all Space Marines have skulls IN their heads, that's what keeps their brains from falling out, but The Boss Marines With Skulls On Their Heads have skulls ON their heads. That's what's different. The skulls make them real (x2) scary. This one time the Bad Space Marines were being Bad and the Boss Space Marines With Skulls On Their Heads came by and the Bad Space Marines were scared of the skulls and ran away.
Black Bird
One time the Space Emperor was flying and he saw a Forest Fire with his X-Ray Vision. So he flew down and put out the Forest Fire with his Super Breath. But then he saw that the Forest Fire was started by a Meteor. A Kryptonite Meteor! "Kryptonite arrg!" he yelled because Kryptonite is the only thing that can hurt a Space Emperor. But then a Little Black Bird came. He was very (x2) happy the Space Emperor saved his forest so he took the Kryptonite Meteor in his little claws and carried it away. He could do this because Kryptonite is only deadly to Space Emperors, not to Little Black Birds. The Space Emperor was very (x2) happy so he used his Magic Powers to turn the Little Black Bird into a Black Bird Space Marine. Because they saved the Space Emperor, Black Bird Space Marines have the Super Power of Flying.
The Other Green
Many people are confused about The Other Green Space Marines and think they're Black Space Marines but they're not Black Space Marines because they don't have super powers. In fact The Other Green Space Marines are slow. This is because they are black. But they are not Black Space Marines. Black Space Marines have super powers. Of course these days The Other Green Space Marines are not slow. Maybe this means they are not black. Or that they are now Black Space Marines. I'm so confused.
Bionic
Sometimes a Space Marine gets Hurt Bad so the Fixit Space Marines glue on a Robot Foot or Robot Nose or something. But the Bionic Space Marines really (x2) like Robot Noses and Feet so sometimes they cut off their Real Nose and put on a Robot Foot. Sometimes people call them the Six Million Dollar Marines. This is because it costs Six Million Dollars to make an army of them. Ha-ha. That's just a joke. It doesn't really cost Six Million Dollars to make any army. Except Steel Legion of course.
Nerd
Unlike other Space Marines who like Fighting and Killing, the Nerd Space Marines like Thinking and Reading. The other Space Marines laugh at them very (x2) much and make them wear silly Space Hats with wires and stuff. Other Space Marines get Guns and Chain Saws but the Nerd Space Marines have to fight with Sticks and Books. This makes them very (x2) sad.
Vampire Werewolf Zombie
This one time a Vampire Space Marine bit a Werewolf Space Marine and a Werewolf Space Marine bit a Vampire Space Marine. Then they fell in love and had a baby. And the Baby Space Marine was bitten by a Zombie Space Marine. Then the baby died. That's too bad because if he hadn't died he would have all the powers of a Vampire Werewolf Zombie Space Marine
Not Getting Rules
Although there are only 1000 Space Marine Chapters in the universe we probably will not be able to make rules for all of them. The following chapters will not be getting rules:
- The Emperor's Butter Knives
- The Angry Bald Men
- Chapters II and XI
- The Disgruntled Postal Workers
- The Emperor's Second Cousins
- The Really, Really Loyal Guys Who'll Never Turn to Chaos (they are covered in Codex Chaos Space Marines)
- The Blood Warriors of Bloodskull XXXIV (note: the Blood Warriors of Bloodskull XXXVI will be getting a full codex and new models)
You can expect rules and new models for all the other chapters though. Because of this the updated Ork Codex will not be done until 2053. We regret any inconvenience this may cause.